Hefty Clefty Makes Toast

Hefty Clefty: Wow, I can't believe my new apartmsnt came with all this new food, and toast already in the toaster!

*sounds of burglars sneaking out*

Hefty Clefty Noms On Chef Boyardee

Hefty Clefty: This tastes like metal. I want my money back.

Me: Hey, Hefty Clefty, remember that machiney thingy I gave you? It's called a can-opener, remember? Do you know what it's used for?

Mickey shirt: I miss the washing machine.

Hefty Clefty Gets a New Suit

Hefty Clefty: I look spiffy.

Attractive.... it compliments his skin.(:

Manly Bonding time

Hefty Clefty: Man am I glad this kid isn't my son.
Peein' Ian: Timmy's dad? I had an accident?
Hefty Clefty: *to passing people* Yeah, I don't know him.

Someday I'm going to give Peein' Ian a surgery so he has a steel bladder. Literally. Pshaa. And someday Hefty Clefty will have abs! No, I would never do that.
P.S.  I think Hefty Clefty has found his calling! I'm so proud.

A Phase-- and not one you've ever heard of before

Hefty Clefty Goes through a Phase-- a straw-chewing, hat-wearing, Harry Potter-reading, mouse-roasting, cutoff and daisy duke-wearing hillbilly phase. I don't know. There are no words to describe how weird this picture is. It reminds me of Shrek, when Fiona and Shrek roast.... augh, what was it? I'm getting ideas for more pictures now, so just clear your schedule for tomorrow cuz it's gunna take you so long to read this you'll have bags under your eyes. It's a good thing Hefty Clefty is never tired, because we'll be seeing him 24/7! He's always paparazzi-ready. Stay tuned!

Clefty gets heftier

This is cool. People love my chubby dude... we're hooked! I drew 3 more today, but massive amounts of end-of-semester work didn't let me color very much. I'm experimenting with posing my not-so stick figure. It's kind of hard.

Toe nails: Really, we're happy the way we are. You don't need to go to all this trouble for us. Honestly, we're just fine. Ah, well. I don't think we're in danger.
Hefty Clefty: ... why couldn't I have been born with a fast metabolism? ....

Dietician: Um, excuse me. Yeah, Emma? Where'd my hand go? And my back pocket? Yeah, can I have those back? I kind of need them. Thanks.
Hefty Clefty: Oh, and while you're at it, could you redo my belly? It looks a bit larger than I want. You know. They say it's bad if you can't see your feet.

My first comic! This is so not happening again. Hefty Clefty isn't the same weight in both pictures. Maybe he snuffed a few Twinkies before the second frame? My dietician looks like Pinocchio.

Tooth: Thank the heavens! I'm free! I am so tired of the taste of hot fudge it isn't even FUNNY!
Hat: Really. You couldn't get a bigger size. In what world do I fit on your head?

Sorry about the name-- it reminds me so much of Justin Bieber! Yuck. (Did you know there's a nail polish line named after him? "One less lonely glitter" and "OMB" are names of colors. It's too lame for words.)

xoxo,
gossip girl

Humble Beginnings

This is a big moment for me! In 10 years Hefty Clefty will be a household name and this very post will have over a million hits. Haha- as if. But while I'm a-blogging, I'm going to tell you the story of how I came up with my fat little man.
Two days ago, I was doodling while watching my sister play Sims. My half-hearted doodle came out as a "husky" man with lobster red skin and a lot of chest hair in a Speedo and a swim cap and swim shoes. I drew a tiny red guy next to him, his son Tinny Timmy. (Duh, because tiny doesn't rhyme with Timmy.) Tinny Timmy has a friend named Peein' Ian, who pees so much the toilets overflow. I'm talking gallons. This kid has a serious bladder. But I digress. So let's take a look!

Peein' Ian: I KNEW I shouldn't have had that last Dr. Pepper...

Hefty Clefty: I'm prectically standing in pee, but I have no time to care. My Livestrong contract doesn't end until we leave the pool.

Tinny Timmy: Craaaaap. I forgot to make friends with people who aren't nerds. This is worse than the time I accidentally superglued my hand to.... well, never mind.

Not my best picture, but it was my first one, so cut me some slack. Notice the angel in the cloud saying "tsk tsk". (I know, how Hefty Clefty got a girl to have his baby is beyond me too.)

Hefty Clefty: These pants are too tight. I know I should've gotten the size 48's instead!
Pant makers: Um, Mr. Clefty? We don't have enough denim in our warehouse for another pair of your pants. We would appreciate it if you lost some weight.
Hefty Clefty: *wail*

The title is hard to read but it says Hefty Clefty On the Job. I have to say, this is one of my favorites so far.

Hefty Clefty: Gala! Oh, wait. They have Golden Delicious. Those are good too. Hmm. What about Pink Lady. I always like to try new things... but Braeburn. You have to admit how classy that sounds.
Employees: *facepalm*

Hefty Clefty Picks out Produce-- I know. it's so hard to decide. Gala apples, Braeburn apples, Pink lady apples and in the corner , some Golden Delicious apples. Which one will he pick? The suspense is killing me!

Hefty Clefty: On the count of 3! 1.... 2.... 3.... Ok, on the count of 3! 1.... 2.... 3....

Diving Board: *crack*

I apologize that this one is sideways. It is Hefty Clefty vs. the Diving Board.  I love how the diving board sags under his weight. Notice that he is wearing trunks here, not a Speedo. YOU'RE WELCOME.  I'm giving my friend Nicole the credit-- great idea!

Hefty Clefty: This isn't fair! This stick must be made of steel!

Finally, another colored one! These ones are a lot easier to see, I know, but I didn't have time today to do color on all of them. Here our bud Clefty is distressed because he can't break a stick. He's wearing a fishing hat, naturally. His mouth looks like Tinny Timmy's when Peein' Ian peed at the pool. I am a fan of that mouth. The Hartman Reserve is a nature center near my house.

Okay, well that wraps up the pictures I have for you guys. Please comment and make suggestions for more Hefty fun! More tomorrow if possible! I had fun, even if it was extremely cheesy, and I hope you guys liked it.